Sitting...Thinking...Tired.

To whom it may concern (whoever reads this),
Hello I am finally on this site again.
I'm not sure where to begin.

In school there are people, students, who still have yet to discover maturity. I am in ninth grade and I am dealing with things. ridiculous things like:

I am dating Ryder. All the guys are saying things such as, " hey, ryder is over there." or "RYDERRRRRRR" okay guys do you really think i don't have eyes to see or ears to hear... First of all you have no need to yell when you are right next to me or two people away. i know his name. I can see that he is right there.thank you though. Yes, _______ <--( insert any guy's name there), I just got done hugging him i know he is going to advisory. now that i am done quoting the rubbish that is coming out of the guys' mouth i have one question to ask: Would you agree with me that they are being immature? this lead me to something else i am allowed to rant about
WHY DO PEOPLE CARE ABOUT WHO PEOPLE DATE?
yes it's interesting to know about who is dating who. Going as far as starting rumors about couples or making fun of one of the people who are in a relationship. making fun of a person for dating someone feels fantastic.I thought it was about love not popularity. I guess i havent read the most recent Facebook port about what's in on relationships. I am all about the person and not what other people think.
Think before you speak is all i have to say

What whould I do when I am confused?? I wish patience was a part of me.... RIGHT now. Zach hasn't texted me. I am so confused.
what do I do?? this is so complicated. I wish it weren't but nothing works that way...

First impression? was it that? so many things to think about.

Merry Christmas to everyone!

So I just want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas Eve! I hope everyone enjoys today and tomorrow. Just be thankful for everything. :) Everything happens for a reason.


R.I.P Grandpa and Casssie..... I am going to miss you both. You bioth have made a difference in my life. Thank you both for giving me what I needed. I love you both and I will meet you there someday when god needs me.

Brick Wall

Things just hit me like a brick wall. Today, December 22, 2009, my great grandfather died. I haven't really grasped this whole concept I guess. I am seriously going to miss him. R.I.P grandpa <3

Three days before Christmas. I am still looking forward to that :|
:'|



.......Just told that another person died today. My grandpas friend Cassy. R.I.P Cassy. we will miss both of you

FUN!!!!!

WITH ESKÄN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) having fun watching her little sister play with a little whistle. Her new name(well not new) is little devil.... >:} kinda want to talk to Travisssssss <3 ILY!!!!!! Going to me nana's tomorrow. and then hopefully hanging out with travis on Sunday.

I have no I D E A..... just realization i guess <3

If only everyone were so nice. The people who meet at my house are so awesome. I love them. They really show good to me. God is surrounding us. Go moments are also amazing. The fact that I cannot really afford to buy Christmas presents for friends and then a teacher gives you a lot of stuff to choose from and to give.... is just AMAZING. Then if your mom needs help with recovering(long story) and this friend of ours is living with us and helping her to just ..... let go (and by the way: Everyone needs to learn that sometime). People need to be grateful for what they have and don't look at the expensive things in the store that are pointless. just be happy that you have a laptop to read this. or a house... maybe. and food even if there isn't a lot. just think that just because sometimes a dinner isn't made for you at dinner time you have clean water or lean cuisine to eat. I now this post sounds a little odd but I am just so happy that I have had a chance to meet so many people and go to so many places. AND yes sometimes jealousy does throw me off a ledge but then i can climb right back up because I have everything I need.
well I really need to go to bed. I have been staying up late and that is not very good for me cuz i have to get up early. Well i think i can wait 8-9 more day for Christmas and vacation. see i am grateful for vacation. simple things... Goodnight... I LOVE YOU!!! 11-11-09
RararaRachelll

the loneliness i sit in today.

I sit here overwhelmed with homework. I stayed home sick today and slept for the majority. I also read Lovely Bones. I think i am on page 54. not sure though. It is an odd book. I got a text from Travis this morning while he was in advisory. I was sleeping but i woke up to the sound of my phone. talked to him for a little while then he had to go. I love him. 11-11-09 <3
I really don't like being sick having to stay home from school. I really do not like it at all!!!! I missed science which is a problem and then here at home i sit with my mom telling em i should ha gone to school. I would have fallen asleep and not been able to breathe. Because that is just what I did here at home.and I also ate but mostly slept and read. In language arts we are reading the first stave of the Christmas Carol. I am going to school tomorrow.

i have to go and finish my homework